shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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