I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
