the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
