he shaved USA in his pubs
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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