It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
