i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
