Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
