forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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