Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
