but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
