Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i can't believe i had my finger in that
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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