i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
