Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You've changed since you got that strap on
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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