Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
FUCK WHALES
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