i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Randomize