Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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