the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
