When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
