that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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