You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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