I love black thongs
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
