U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
