And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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