I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
