Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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