So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
