My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
