Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
