she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
