Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
