I cockslap morals
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
