Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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