i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
