Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Actions speak louder than pants.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
