He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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