He uses pillows to masturbate.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
