Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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