I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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