I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
