I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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