I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
