just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
i need some magic done to my vagina
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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