yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
