I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
