you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
