hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
