Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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