You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
