he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
