So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
