That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
