Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
