"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
