An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
