$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
