Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
