I would go down on you faster than GM stock
she looked like the before picture.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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