Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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