I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
