I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
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