shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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