It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize