Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
