Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
