i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
