drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
