On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We had to coat check the pizza.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
